On A Mission

Wow, where do I begin? Somewhere amidst the events leading up to taking CC to the MTC yesterday, Chris and I had a conversation about how easy it was going to be to give our hugs and say good-bye. After all, we're seasoned, if you will, at saying good-bye to him and Chelsea, right? Well.....we were WRONG. DEAD WRONG! It is a fact that we're used to saying good-bye to them and putting them on an airplane to Florida, but this time was so different.

Let me rewind a little....

CC got special permission to come to Utah a couple days before he went to the MTC so he could spend a little time with us. He was set apart as a missionary on Sunday, Nov.9 and flew out here on the 10th. There was a special kind of buzz in the air with him here. The kids were pretty curious about how he was preparing to go on his mission and were asking a lot of questions about different things pertaining to CC and his mission. It just so happened that on the 9th, we had our primary program in sacrament meeting. Landon's part was, "I will prepare to be a missionary by being a good example." Landon was sitting on my bed with me on the night of the 10th, as I folded some laundry, and he said, "Mom, CC is preparing to be a missionary by being a good example, huh!?" Tears filled my eyes as I realized that even Landon, at the tender age of 5, realized what CC was doing. I really don't know whether CC realizes this or not, but he really has been a great example to ALL of his siblings here in Utah, and Florida, too. He has been a beacon shining bright for all to see. It touches my heart in such a tender way to know that my boys have been watching him and realize what he is doing and have felt the spirit so near.

On Tuesday, I made a homemade Thanksgiving dinner for CC before he left for the MTC. It was the perfect excuse to have Thanksgiving twice at our house! Tuesday could not have been more perfect for me as I prepared everything. CC had gone with Oma (Chris' mom) for the day and spent some great time with her, so I put on some Christmas music and cooked and baked away in the kitchen all day long. I was so surprised at how perfectly everything was timed. It all seemed to come together so well. Everything was done at the same time and I wasn't going crazy, stressing out over this or that. It really was the perfect day and the spirit was so palpable that day. I got teary off and on as I thought about what a wonderful young man CC is and how much he is going to accomplish in the mission field. Dinner was very enjoyable. It seriously was a very memorable time around the table for me as I sat there and marveled at my little family and felt how much I have been blessed. My heart overflowed with so much joy and happiness that I could hardly contain it. The ONLY thing that would have made that moment better for me would have been to have Chelsea there with us. But she was definitely there in thought.

There was no doubt in my mind that all of the kids needed to be at the MTC with us when we took CC, so Wednesday morning, we all got dressed up to go. As the kids were getting ready, CC came into my room and told Todd to "take a knee". So Todd kneeled down on one knee and CC put a tie around Todd's neck and told him it was his. I don't know why, but that moment was so touching to me. I don't think CC realizes how much Todd looks up to him and it meant so much to me, and I'm sure to Todd, that CC gave him that tie. I knew it would help Todd to always remember CC, but it will also remind him of this time that he's watched CC prepare for his mission. CC then proceeded to teach Todd how to tie his new tie. Again, a very tender moment for a mother! And don't you know, I was right there with my camera! Would you expect anything less? I didn't think so!

All of the boys were so eager to help CC out the door with his luggage. It was cute to watch them as they took turns pulling CC's suitcases.

All too soon, we were at the MTC. It was a wet, drizzly day, but not cold enough to snow. We snapped a few pictures outside before CC went through the "New Missionary" door and we went through the "Friends and Family" door. He got his Elder Morgan name tag and a few instructions and then met back up with us. The mother's were told that they got to put the new name tags on their missionaries. I felt so privileged to be able to do that! My heart swelled with joy as I realized that I got to do it, yet at the same time, I was really wishing his mom and the rest of his family could've been there with us. We took lots of pictures that I will share with them, but it's just not the same as being there in person, feeling the spirit and watching your child/brother beaming from ear to ear as he's embarking on a new chapter in life. I tried really hard not to be too overbearing with my camera, but it's hard not to want to snap pictures left and right, but I'm glad I did as many as I did! I know we're going to look back on these pictures in 2 years and marvel, first of all, that it's over, and secondly, at how little the kids were!! They are definitely priceless pictures.

I DID NOT want to go to the chapel. I knew that meant no more pictures, but I also knew we'd be saying good-bye all too soon. We spent so much time in the foyer taking pictures that we didn't have too much time in the chapel before the meeting began. The spirit was strong and there was excitement in the air, but it was over WAY TOO FAST. I stood back and watched Chris proudly embrace his oldest son in his arms, pride bursting from his chest, and I LOST IT!! The dam finally broke. CC hugged each of the kids, but held Todd especially long. I watched as Todd's tears finally overflowed as well and I knew at that moment that Todd truly has a great deal of love and respect for his big brother. He's at that awkward age where he doesn't really express those kinds of feelings to too many people, but he didn't have to at that point in time, it was obvious. I also know that Todd felt the spirit and I feel that he was deeply impacted by the day as a whole. Then it was my turn. I had a few things I wanted to say to CC, but when it came right down to it, I just couldn't talk. I held him close and didn't want to let go. He told me he loved me and I really felt the sincerity of his words. He's told me that several times, but as a step-parent, those words mean so much, especially in a moment like that.

The rest of the day was so emotional. I cried off and on all day long. I noticed Todd crying off and on. And when Chris got home from work, his eyes were all red and swollen and he told me how emotional he'd been too. CC is going to be one great missionary!! He already has been in so many different ways, to a lot of different people. This boy of ours is destined for greatness! We feel it so strongly. It's something that has been known from the time of his birth. He has been blessed with a strong spirit and everyone that has ever know him knows that. I feel so blessed to be his stepmother and to love him like he's my own. I look so forward to his letters each week and hope to keep you all informed through this blog.