So many things are bashing around in my brain right now that I'm not sure how to organize them enough to write about them. It doesn't help that I'm not an eloquent writer, but there are a few things I want to convey today, on my 40th birthday. (OK, technically it's over, but I haven't gone to bed yet!)
I've been anticipating this day for a whole year. I wasn't too sure about how I would feel turning 40, but I've spent a lot of time contemplating about the things I've accomplished, the trials and bumps in the road that have set me back a bit and the person I've become in the last 4 decades. While doing so, a high school friend of mine, posted this article on her Facebook page. I read it and it just made perfect sense to me! It really summed up my feelings and attitude about my upcoming 40th birthday. I LOVE how, at the end, she says,
"It is simply because, through the marvelous gift and power of prayer, I am discovering I have been prepared to be EXACTLY where the Lord knew I'd be...
...because He's been preparing me, for forty years, to be right where I am.
And I believe He's been preparing me for the fulfillment of promises.
His Promises.
How could I possibly ask for anything more?"
Really, could that be any more PERFECT? Not for me!
I've had a rough patch these last 7 years with my health. That's a looooong time to feel so rotten. In the end, it was nothing super serious, but it was life altering. It took me from a very active lifestyle, healthy in every way, to a very sedintary, only-do-what-you-abosolutely-have-to-do-to-get-by life style. It was SO HARD. Incredibly challenging; physically, mentally and emotionally. I had 4 babies and a husband to take care of on a daily basis. I was running a full time daycare out of my home for wonderful families who I grew to love like my own family. I had things to do. I didn't have time to hurt and be sick.
I've blogged a little about the dibilitating headaches and dizzy spells that I lived with on a constant basis. No relief EVER. Dealt with it 24/7 for 7 years! Had test after test after test done, only to be told that everything looked healthy and normal. WHY then, was I feeling like CRAP? As I stared and cried at myself in the mirror, 80 lbs heavier than I've ever been and high blood pressure, I just resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have to live with this chronic pain for the rest of my life. What more could I do? I felt like I had done my part to find the problem. But nothing ever came of it. I felt so hopeless so much of the time. And then, out of the blue, because of my daughters first bout with her genetically inherited back pain, a miracle happened! A miracle long prayed for and probably not so patiently waited for. I refused to let her deal with her back pain like Meister has his whole life. I wanted to know what was going on and what was causing it. I did not want her suffering chronic pain like I was having to endure. Like her daddy has had to endure. I trusted my instinct and took her to our bishop, who is a chiropractor. As I listened to him tell me exactly what was wrong with her and that it could be fixed, I was so incredibly grateful. As we began her therapy with him and as I went to appointment after appointment, I began to realize that my very own body had been SCREAMING at me for a long while. I had all kinds of aches and pains that I never paid much attention to until then. I suddenly realized that so much of what I was dealing with could be aleviated through chiropractic care. I dove into that treatment as fast I could! As we looked at x-rays togehter, I was told that a childhood injury to my neck, resulting in torn ligaments and jammed vertabrae, was likely the cause of my headaches and dizzy spells. I left his office that day, after one adjustment, and had never felt lighter! I joked with him at my second appointment about how I felt like he had decapitated me! THE PAIN WAS GONE! For the first time in 7 years!!! I really didn't know what to do with myself. I cried. That's what I always do. All I needed all this time was a simple adjustment???! WOW! WHY didn't any of my doctor's suggest a visit to the chiropractor? Needless to say, I've become a huge advocate. I try to share my experience with others so that they don't have to suffer as long as I did.
Now here I am, 6 months into chiropractic therapy, feeling better than I have in a long time! Being able to be active again has been so liberating! It feels great. But I still have my moments when I look at myself in the mirror and all the weight I gained from being so sedintary. From when I could hardly stand to make my family dinner or put laundry in the washer and dryer. Sometimes I think that I'm just meant to be obese forever and that I'm never going to get it all off.
On one of those really bad days, feeling so down and frustrated, I was once again inspired by my high school friend. She posted another article on Facebook, meant just for me on that day. You've got to read it! Hurry, click here! It was just what I needed to hear. The motivation to keep doing what I'm doing and to ease back into physical activity. It took 7 years to put on and it just might take that long to take off, but here I am! Ready and willing to master the art of starting over!
I know that I have been been prepared to be right where I am today! I am so happy to be 40 and on my way to the best years of my life! What a wonderful birthday it's been! That hill was a dang hard one to climb! I'm so glad to FINALLY be over it!
